In question to how she'd been.

Good, a little bad because I was VERY nostalgic on Christmas (as its the ex's birthday)

It did not help when I texted one of his lady friends that day to wish for Christmas as she's a Christian (unknowning to herself,, this girl was one of the reasons that made me want the breakup) and her Whatsapp profile picture just HAD to be a selfie taken with him

I got way too nostalgic (like I already said before) and my thoughts last weekend were only about my ex, about reminiscing moments of the past and re-imagining what I would like with him in the future and well, everything last weekend revolved around my ex.

But this week, I'm all focused and working towards my uni. research and short paper-writing research (very slow progress there..) and my Java class' assignments

But seriously speaking, I look forward to fall in love all over again. Wanted to tell you this yesterday but I fell asleep..To put it in a simple way, it is a very beautiful thing / feeling to be loved and to also be in love with that same person.

When I love, I love with everything I've got and I saw that in my previous relationship (not boasting here). But when I chose in my mind to move towards a breakup, it has the most toughest choice, period. But I had to do it anyway. Even now when I think of him, I still don't regret asking him to breakup with me because I know he'll never change, he'll never want to step down and talk, apologize or compromise. And although he's the perfect prince and we've got the most perfect relationship ever, what's the point if he wouldn't get off his high horse eh? Okay, really ROFL--> after having written all this, I suddenly remembered now that I forgot the very point I wanted to make unsure emoticon

Something I wanted to rant about now

Everyday grind is going on nice. Well, sorta, I guess.

Uni is all about the final project this time, although the other classes and electives definitely do take up their own large spaces in the ballroom that's my final year.
The project is going on so-so, and we're yet to start implementing there. No worries there, we'll get to it in our pace.

Java classes have ended but I'm yet to start with half the classes' worth of assignments :/ Time, time, I want more of you! Or I wish you'd stop for me like you would for that little tiny wingman of Frieza from Dragon Ball Z, where you could be frozen and unfrozen at command, where I could do and accomplish all I want while you're frozen, where it would just be me catching up with my pending works while the rest of the globe would freeze.

Android classes have started and Imma do my best there.

But oh GOSH do I hate the bus journeys home now more than ever--what with the weight of my heavy Dell laptop being protectively caged in my frail arms all the way home while in the heavily crowded buses, I easily become tired and want nothing else but to fling myself at the bed or couch when I'm home. All those glorified plans in my mind during the journey back home of being productive upon reaching home are crushed. Just like that. Period. Yayy. I swear, I swear that I'm going to really live near campus at the next uni I study at.

Speaking of which!

Grad school research is killing me, man!! The fact that I've a 15 year educational qualification opposed to that of the 16 years which Japan wants of me is killing indeed.

Waii me. R-senpai got to go to S-daigaku just fine without having to become a "Research Student"! And thanks to MEXT and the MHRD messing it up for India big time, I'm in a fix. Like, bad.

--

Uhh I am typing this while chatting with the arubaito-boss. Go, me!
Can't wait for tomorrow to start traveling--the usual Christmas travel routine! xD
Can't wait especially because my driving has gotten so much better.

And oh yeahh that Aunt HAD to ask me point blank in the face as to how my ex is doing. I'm pretty sure everyone (well, not alllll in that sense) knows that he WAS involved in me with something more than your average friendship. But oh well, the past is behind me, and I cannot stomach a relationship with someone who doesn't compromise, apologize or at the very least, talk.

---

Okay, back to the chat with my boss. 

Oooh did I mention about my tentative upcoming trek!

Why after all this time?

Why does she still dream of her ex in all the good ways as if the breakup never happened?!!

It is true she can't forget him, but still..

Hola estas? Ahh, je suis bien, bien! 忙しい時の流れの中で愉快で頑張ってます。

こんばんは。

タイトルはちょっと変じゃない？ま、ええよね。どうせこのBlogを私しか誰もあまり読んでないから勝手に思い通りのことを書き込んでもいいんでしょう。

今日、日本語能力試験一級段階試験を受けた！

ナンニモ分からず、知らずに試験室にぼっとして座ると思っていた自分のことはびっくりだ。だって、試験期間の全１７０分の間は迷って漢字などをGuessしねばと思っていた私はたくさんの字は文章の内容のことは理解できましたわ！

以前にもましてびっくりです。

まああ、成長して来たかな、私は。

ナイス、自分！－－＞というのにはまだ百年早いかな（笑）。

だって、試験結果発表までナイスかどうかというのを確認できないな～

でもいいわ。

どうせこの両方から一つのことを選びます：

一級段階合格なら来年は試験監督役。

一級段階不合格なら来年は再び一級試験を受けます。

自分自身を持っていますからきっと大丈夫だと信じています。

では、のちほど～　（『のちほど』の使い方は正しいかな。。）

Final semester faux pas and failures

3 days in and the fourth day, I'm taking a day-off.
This semester is already way too much.

Such a faux pas with the project, too.
Nonetheless, there's been SO much going on in my life of late that I don't have time to sit down and relax or take a deep, long breath.

But this doesn't mean that I've gotten to accomplish all that I must: two e-mails from two different internships' bosses reminding me about my serious backlogs have made me realize that I'm such a failure, too.

A failure as an intern, a student, a daughter, as a committee-planner, and a failure at keeping a firm resolve.

I'm not going to get this through to me. I'm going to work this through, I've taken a day off today (yess, the ominous 4th day-off from after the first 3 days of the semester) to try to take measures for this.

It is going to be a looong, rather long climb up the mountain this time given all that I've on my hands as I've really bitten off more than I can chew. But I'm definitely going to make it to the summit even if it means I've to climb on all fours with no resources.

I will do this. I will win against all my odds and prove that I'm worthy again.

村上さん's TL request

"Any advice on how to get people to understand that you are in your late 20's with your own life, although far away from home, and you are seeing your future trying to build up in front of you but keep holding back just so that you don't disappoint some people?

Is it worth it that I came this far, just to throw them out the window and follow what others "think" they know what I should or shouldn't do?

Oh, some these people seldom or never asked how you are doing, or talked about what your dreams are.

I always think it was the workload at work, but this might be the biggest reason that I sometimes feel stressed and on the borderline towards depression.

I really do hope people just support me, genuinely, for what I do. Or at least, I hope I can be that person who can pick true friends and families that are actually helping build my future instead of holding me back. And not hurt me with words of discouragement.

TL;DR.
In a nutshell, respect others' choices'"

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『自分は２０歳代の末にいて自分の人生を生きていて、家から遠いところにいて、少数の人々に失望をさせないように自分の未来は目の前に広がっていくことを見ても前に歩きたいという気持ちを我慢していることを人々に分かってもらえるために何かアドバイスはありますか。

ここまで来て、私の広がっていく未来を窓の外に捨てて、私が何をするべきかどうかと他人が『思っている』ことをしたがうことにはかちがありますか。

マア、そんな人々は『あなたは元気ですか』とあなたに一度聞いたこともないし、あなたはどんな夢を見ているのかということについても話をかけたりもしていない。

時々、ストレスを感じることと憂鬱への線上に立っているのは仕事の仕事量（Workload)だとずっと思っていたが、最大の理由はコウイウコトかもしれません。

私がやっていることで私を人々は純粋にせめてSupportするのを願っています。

＊やっていることだけで

いやなら、少なくとも、私の足をひっぱらないで、落胆の言葉で私を傷つけないで、本当に私の未来を立ち上がるために手伝う家族や純粋な仲間を選べることができる『あの』人になりたいです。

秋の夜は長くて、あなたを自分の考えで漂うことにしたのかな。。。

TL;DR.－－＞これは何だと分かりません＞＜すみません！

一言で言えば、他人の選択を尊敬して。』

Day 1 of Consecutive Japanese Interpretation

"First day of work (well, although this is only a ~1 week stint during my semester break now) went much better than expected. Hands down, consecutive Japanese interpretation is beautiful and rewarding if you know your stuff, and if your boss doesn't want anyone else but you.

It is even better if you have a business card which I don't (like, damn!), and knowledge of basic
grammar will help you with the home-run. A huge thanks to my ex-advance Japanese diploma classmate for referring me to this job!"