Set boundaries, and deadlines for your limits. When you give in, bow down and still are being hurled curses at, or mistreated even when you apologize, I think that is the right time to hit hard when the iron is hot; say no and ask those who treat you so to shut up and get out. You might be pained throughout--even when being treated very badly when you're apologetic, and you're not prolonging the hideous event, and you'd also be pained when you have to tell them to shut it. But its good for you, its good that you know where to set the line from being hurt over again. Its good indeed, when you have the courage to firmly say no though you're shaking, shivering and are a pathetic mess on the inside.
But what's bad and upsetting is that other person who doesn't see what you're going through, what you're giving up to make them happy, who doesn't see the line you draw to want to end the conflict, but only sees their own goal of creating bigger problems, to want to hurt you over and over though you've bowed down to them in respectful defeat.
Furthermore, when this person is involved in a life-bonding relationship with you, what are you left with anymore after saying no? It is one good thing that you mustered courage to stand up for yourself, but it is not one bit nice when that person doesn't want to bow down like you did, and only heaps further insults and heartbreaking comments on you, thus making you feel terrible.
It leaves you feeling empty, hollow, and utterly stranded though you have a hazy crowd living around you, and though your worldly tasks keep you fairly 'busy' while you're in constant pain over what happened with that person.
And no, writing down 'pain' wouldn't be felt unless you empathize. When you promise that you wouldn't break off things with that person though its been you who's faced with more negativity in the relationship with them, and when they voluntarily egg you on to break it off with them--mainly stating that doing that is an easy walk in the park, that's where you grow up; that's where you say that you can't go on being hurt like this when the larger part of the fault never was yours in the first place. Hope jerks don't go about reading this.
April writes this while in plain, naked sorrow, and sadness--and also in pure disgust at the conduct she had been subjected to. She puts down her feet at such treatment.
But what's bad and upsetting is that other person who doesn't see what you're going through, what you're giving up to make them happy, who doesn't see the line you draw to want to end the conflict, but only sees their own goal of creating bigger problems, to want to hurt you over and over though you've bowed down to them in respectful defeat.
Furthermore, when this person is involved in a life-bonding relationship with you, what are you left with anymore after saying no? It is one good thing that you mustered courage to stand up for yourself, but it is not one bit nice when that person doesn't want to bow down like you did, and only heaps further insults and heartbreaking comments on you, thus making you feel terrible.
It leaves you feeling empty, hollow, and utterly stranded though you have a hazy crowd living around you, and though your worldly tasks keep you fairly 'busy' while you're in constant pain over what happened with that person.
And no, writing down 'pain' wouldn't be felt unless you empathize. When you promise that you wouldn't break off things with that person though its been you who's faced with more negativity in the relationship with them, and when they voluntarily egg you on to break it off with them--mainly stating that doing that is an easy walk in the park, that's where you grow up; that's where you say that you can't go on being hurt like this when the larger part of the fault never was yours in the first place. Hope jerks don't go about reading this.
April writes this while in plain, naked sorrow, and sadness--and also in pure disgust at the conduct she had been subjected to. She puts down her feet at such treatment.
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